| Keep dreaming- there's a chance you won't wake up. <3 |
[24 Oct 2005|10:42pm] |
Okay.
Lot's of crap going on that I'm too lazy to talk about.
Here's some good things:
Mat. <3
Aria and Ame being my support-group. <3
Got a new cat. <3
Bought some new clothes. <3
Here's some things that aren't good:
*you know*
Chris isn't talking to me anymore for some reason.
Geography is HARD.
I am weird.
If you ask my mom, I'm ruining everyone's lives.
**PLUS** I have no Halloween costume, and it looks like I won't be getting one at all.
0:<
kthxbaibai.
|
|
| Am I more than you bargained for...? |
[24 Aug 2005|05:45pm] |
I don't really feel like updating this so much anymore...
I'm in a bad mood, because this guy that I kind of have a thing for totally hates me.
|
|
|
[02 Aug 2005|02:06pm] |
Stolen from Megan. ^-^
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Talia
2. Kage
3. Wonton
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. kittie616
2. youjokage
3. NamelessRepent
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eyes.
2. Uh...
3. Hm... >___>
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Everything but my eyes.
2. ^
3. ^
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Viking
2. Cherokee
3. Err... white?
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. People getting hurt. (My wrists twitch when I'm grossed out)
2. People.
3. Myself. o__o;
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Pez candy.
2. Some form of Asian cuisine.
3. Music.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Torn up jeans.
2. New shirt with Italian things written on it.
3. Red, spiked collar.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Psapp.
2. The Postal Service.
3. System of a Down.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Scissory"- Psapp.
2. "Glue Song"- Psapp.
3. "Such Great Heights"- The Postal Service.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Hm... *raises a suggestive eyebrow*
2. Keeping in touch with friends.
3. Going to Japaaaaan. x____x;
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Loyalty.
2. Fun.
3. Hawt. :3
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I eat Pez and sugar for breakfast.
2. I <3 my feeeeeeesh.
3. There's an anvil hanging precariously above my head from a piece of nylon string.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes.
2. Personality.
3. Clothes... X3
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Eat other humans. D:
2. Speak.
3. Be outgoing. x___x;
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Drawing.
2. Gaming.
3. Eating.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Eat Asian food.
2. Play "Phantom Brave".
3. Get a DVD-Drive for my compy.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Animator.
2. Director.
3. Illustrator.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan!!! @w@
2. France.
3. England.
THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Forest.
2. Fythe.
3. Piper. XD
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Animate. x___x;
2. Illustrate. x________________x;
3. Publish manga. @__________@;
|
|
| *Munch!* |
[30 Jul 2005|04:29pm] |
Heh... I might as well jump on the bandwagon. :3
Comment and I shalt give thou a favorite memory with thee and/or a song that remindeth me of thee.
|
|
| 'Everything changes, when I remember your smile...' |
[30 Jul 2005|02:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Wiggly |
] |
Stole this from Ame/Memo. I'm so bored... must... fill... out...
i n f o r m a t i o n
1. name: Talia Joy Hale. x___x;
2. single or taken: Dating...
3. sex: Female
4. birthday: June 16th, 91.
(Why was there no 5 on this thing?)
6. siblings: Nick (19) and Noah (6)
7. hair color: Blondish, brownish, pinkish.
8. eye color: Grey.
9. shoe size: 7-9
10. height: 5'2" or so... -,__-,
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who are your best friends? Aria, Ame, Roka, Jake, Nick, Nolan, Jerrod... :D
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Yup.
f a s h i o n | s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: Hot Topic, Goodwill, any game store/ imports store.
2. any tattoos or piercings: Not anymore... x___x I need to get my ears done again.
s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs ?: No. Been offered, though.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: T-Gel... the anti-dandruff stuff. *nerdy thumbs up*
3. what are you most scared of? People.
4. who is the last person that called you?: Dad.
5. where do you want to get married?: I don't care, really... I want it to be really rainy, though. I mean, like storming. I don't want that picture-perfect wedding like other girls.
6. how many buddies are online right now?: 11
7. what would you change about yourself?: Look at the previous entry. Physically... I'd like to slim down a little and look less like a little kid. Also... I wish my voice didn't sound so annoying... ;___; I've been told I sound like a 4-year-old girl/boy.
f a v o r i t e s
1. color: Grey.
2. food: Wontons... <3
3. boys names: Alix, Garret, Vincent, Ian.
4. girls names: Allyx, Celia, Vernelle.
5. subjects in school: Art.
6. animals: Kittys, feeeshes, and some dogs. <3 Non-real animals: Griffins, dragons, and wyverns.
7. sports: DDR. 83
h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: My little brother.
2. smoked?: No. Been offered, but no.
3. bungee jumped?: No.
4. made yourself throw up?: No.
5. skinny dipped?: Yes.
6: ever been in love?: I think...
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Yes.
8. pictured your crush naked?: @w@...
9. actually seen your crush naked?: One of them... just for a second.
10. cried when someone died?: Yes.
11. lied: Yes.
12. fallen for your best friend?: Yes.
13. been rejected?: Yes.
14. rejected someone?: Yes.
15. used someone?: Yes.
16. done something you regret?: You want a list?
c u r r e n t
clothes: Eeyore pajama pants and my FullMetal Alchemist hoodie. <3
make-up: Smeared black and red eyeliners, and redlipstick (I didn't take my make-up off from Rocky Horror last night... so I slept in it. x__x;)
smell: Axe deoderant. @w@
favorite group/artist: @_____@ You can't make me choose...
desktop picture: Homestarrunner. :D "Do you has...?"
book you're reading: "mr. Monday"- Garth Nix (So... cool...)
in cd player: The Postal Service.
in dvd player: Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter. ( my PS2 IS my dvd player. >_< )
l a s t | p e r s o n
you touched: Mom.
hugged: Mom.
you imed: Memo
you yelled at: Noah...
you kissed: Sarah. :3
o p p o s i t e | s e x
what attracts you: Eyes, hair and personality.
last person you slow danced with: Noah.
makes you laugh the most: Everyone.
who do you have a crush on: Jake. :D
d o | y o u | e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: If they'r so special, wouldn't I just IM them first?
wish you were younger: Not often.
cried because someone said something to you?: A little too often.
N u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: Too many times...
of hearts i have broken: A handful...
of guys ive kissed: o___o;; *begins the countdown*
of girls ive kissed: Um... 5? No, six. ^^;
of continents you've been to?: Usa only... I'm going to Japan this summer though, most likely.
of tight friends: Hm... 4 or five that I can tell anything to. And 5 more that are really close.
of cds i own: A. Crap. Load.
of scars on my body: Uh... a fair amount. Notably visible ones: On my left knee that I got when I was trying to kill Ashley. And the one on my nose when I tried to pierce it myself.
F i n a l | Q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: They're great ways to kill time.
2. gold or silver: Silver.
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: Rocky Horror Picture Show.
4.favorite cartoon/anime?: Aaah!! I can't choose!!!
5. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: Nothing.
( What's with all the missing numbers on this thing...? )
10. who would you love being locked in a room with?: Any/All of my Ohio-friends. They're so fun... TTwTT
11. could you live without your computer?: I could... but my head would probably explode.
12. do you color your hair? All the time.
13. could you ever get off the computer?: No. o____o'
14. habla espanol? Not alot..
15. how many people are on your buddy list?: 55
16. drink alcohol? Yup. I'm starting to get used to the taste.
While I was typing this, Memo e-mailed me:
Yu never piss me off, and if five seconds go by and I think something out of the ordinary, I've probably thought about how much I want braces, and how much I wish you would smile more, because it's pretty to me, and you've always been patient with me, and helped me in more ways than you could know, and I've always taken you seriously. I take your opinions, advice, anecdotes, whatevers more seriously than anybody elses, because you're smart, and you always seem to know what to do, and make it better, and I think you speak very coherently. I've never really completely misunderstood you. And you are funny. You make me laugh more than anybody else I know, and you are charming, and witty, and fun to talk to, and interseting, and you are not ugly, and if you're allowed to call yourself ugly, than I damn well am too..... And dyke's are cool, remember? (*whispers* dike... omg look at those dikes, oh my god dikedikedikedike)
And I don't know about doing well in school, but you do a hell of a lot better than me, and you're really smart, and intelligent, and I know you'll do well, and you do make Jake happy. He's so happy to be with you. And you're not all that timid, you've been pretty outgoing when I've been around you and all,l and you do sing. You sing beautifully, and I've never really SEEN you dance, but I've heard you're wonderful, and I think you always will be wonderful, and amazing. You are yourself. You are your own person more than anybody that I've ever met. You could stay sortof... True to yourself on the inside, even if you weren't on the outside. (By the way: I thought you were. You were always the cool person that didn't follow anybody. You'd make a very good leader) You've never ever ever EVER been a burden to me. Ever. Every time I've been with you I've loved every minute of it, even when we were sitting outside on my swing in the middle of december with tank tops on, and only a ratty comforter to soothe the arguement going on inside, and when you would confide things in me like you did then, and when we were at Applebee's, I didn't feel annoyed, or like I was being dragged into anything. I was glad. It made me feel special that you trusted me, and thought of me as good enough of a friend to tell me those things, and to cry about all the things that had been bothering you, and it wasn't a burden..... I was genuinely releived, and felt really special, and I felt like such a bad person for a little while because I didn't know how to help, and I couldn't think of anything comforting to do, but hold your hand, and let you tell me, and give you hugs, and tell you to try and stay happy in spite of it all, and to stay yourself. You really are an amazing person, unlike any other one. And you make me happy. All the time. Whenever I talk to you, I'm ecstatic, and it makes my day just to say hi, and know how your day is going... And if I think that I made it any better, I feel great for the rest of the day, and you've always made me happy... Just being around you or talking to you is like a medicine. And you've never been spiteful in such a way that somebody would think badly of you. You've never done or said anything to me that would even suggest that somebody would think badly of you. And if you want to express yourself, tell me about it. I know how you feel, because I don't know how to express myself to other people, and I've been having trouble with one thing in particular, but I know this is the last thing you want to hear, because everybody says it, but I mean it. I'm here. All the time. If you want to scream about how much Blah is pissing you off, or tell me about how happy you are that this happened or that happened, at three in the morning, hell, call (mihgt be getting a ceellll phooone). I love to hear from you. I love talking to you, and I couldn't be happier if you would tell me what's irking you, or making you spaz out, or what's depressing you, or making you happy.... And if you need help, I will go to any lengths to help, because I want to help. I really do. And I've heard that a good way to calm your rage is to rant about it. It .... Helps. It doesn't make it go all the way away, but it helps. And I'll listen, and I'll tell you about how much I hate this or that too, because chances are I think the same thing. And if you were the lonely kid on the playground again, I would be sad. I would swoop down from the skies and make everything better if I could. I would be your friend even if I would get beat up for it, becaue you're special to me. You mean a lot to me, you really do. And I don't know what to say to help you sleep at night, but think about happy things. Happy happy things. Like running around the mall with chopsticks, and playing with the rubber chicken in Spencer's. Making ramen at 2 in the morning, eating a whole cratewhatchacallit of ice cream in one sitting and pretending to watch the Nightmare Before Christmas... Happy things. Things that make you smile. You should smile more, you're very beautiful. And you should WANT to smile! You got your braces off, remember? You should be happy! And you're not stupid. You're the smartest person I know, and by far the most helpful, and being weird is cool! Haven't you heard? The new wa to conform is to rebel. And I thought you wanted to be yourself, not like the rest of people, and not like the rest of your family. You are the most "myself" yourself person I know of. You've always been really nice, and cool, and funny, and unique, and genuine, and just EVERYTHING..... Unfortunately, I don't know what's happened between you and your brother, but I would love it if you would tell me. I love to hear you, just talk to you... And you are cute :3 You're adorable, I think, you make great jokes, and do funny things, and are fun to be around, and you have a this good attitude, and nicety about you that I think makes people want to be around you, and talk to you, and want to be your friend. And I don't think even the two of us could make the world more accepting, (I know how bad it is -_-;;) but if you surround yourself with good people, the bad people won't matter at all. And I've never ever had an issue with you, unless it was like a magazine issue, or something like that, but unfortuanetly we never started our own magazine, That would have been fun, don't you think?
I've never talked behind your back, and if I've been a witness to it, and either changed the subject, or defended you, because I've always been on your side, because you're the most sane of all of us, and the rest of them.
And I don't think there is a number large enough for the number of times I wish I could see you one last time, and tell you all the things I meant to tell you, and things I wanted to do and say to you.... It's immeasureable.
You are the most special person to me, and you always will be. You matter more than anybody in the world to me, and you've always been there for me, even if it pissed you off to hear about it. And you always helped me, and were always patient, and fun, and tried hard, and kept your wits about you even when it was the worst possible time for anything to go wrong.
You matter to me more than you could know. I just wanted you to know that.
I hope I didn't go on for too long...
Love always, Memo"
TTwTT That was the best (and longest) compliment I've ever gotten.
I luff my friends. <3
|
|
| I wish... |
[30 Jul 2005|03:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Reflective. |
] |
Make a wish!:
I wish I could go five seconds without pissing someone off.
I wish I could stay calm and be kind to people.
I wish I wouldn't be so awkward around others.
I wish my friends would take me seriously.
I wish I could speak coherently.
I wish I could be funny and charming.
I wish I wasn't "that ugly goth-dyke".
I wish I could do well in school.
I wish I could make Jake happy.
I wish I could stop being so timid.
I wish I could sing and dance again.
I wish I could be myself.
I wish I wasn't such a burden on people.
I wish I could make other people happy, like I used to.
I wish I wasn't so spiteful.
I wish I could express myself more freely.
I wish I could calm my surpressed rage.
I wish I was that lonely kid on the playground, again.
I wish I could sleep at night.
I wish I wasn't so stupid and weird.
I wish I was more like the rest of my family.
I wish I could see my brother again.
I wish people were more accepting.
I wish I could be cute, instead of obnoxious or slutty.
I wish my friends would confront me with their issues about me, instead of talking behind my back.
I wish I could see them one last time...
But these are only wishes...
And wishes never come true.
|
|
| I lied. |
[30 Jul 2005|02:19am] |
Okay, fuck it. I lied. D:
I just saw The Rocky Horror Picture show with my mom and it was the coolest thing. Ever.
I dressed all weird; my red vinyl bustier and matching skirt, with big-ass goth boots and stockings. :3
Okay, we're waiting in line to get into the theater and my mom hands me a five dollar bill so I can buy her a coke. I go up to the register, and there's this really... "nice"-looking goth guy talking to the cashier.
Me: "Um... can I have a small coke please?"
Cashier: "Sure!"
Goth guy: "Hey... you guys take Visa, right?"
Cashier: "Yup! <3"
Goth Guy: "Alllrighty then." *tosses Visa on the counter*
~o_____o;~
Okay, so I'm only fourteen and guys are already offering to buy me drinks.
...
YES!! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Anyways, the guy was nice and stuff. :3
There was a live cast that performed along with the movie, and before it started "the Doctor" asked all the Rocky-Horror virgins to come up in front of the crowd. This little group of people (including myself and my mother, though she'd done it before) came up, and the guy asked us to get in pairs. I clung to my mom. o___o; Then he came straight up to us and said "Let's start over here... in order to move on to the next round, you to must copulate an authentic orgasm!"
*crowd squeals*
*Sigh* My mom just said, "THIS IS MY DAUGHTER!!!" and the Doctor was silent for a moment. One of the cast cried, "It's okay, we're in South Carolina~!"
The Doctor said we could go back to our seats, and as we walked away he started yelling, "But you're still both FUCKING sexy!"
~^____^~
For some reason, getting compliments from transvestites really makes me happy.
|
|
| Why the hell bother...? |
[29 Jul 2005|01:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 enraged |
] |
I probably won't update this forever because I realized- what's it going to matter? There's only like two people who actually read this shit.
Plus, I never talk about my problems anymore. Not to anyone. So why should I post them up here, in cyberspace, for all the effing world to see?!
Exactly.
Why the hell should feel obligated to tell near-strangers all about my god damn day?
...
I say all this, and I'll probably be back updating in a month.
FUCK!
|
|
| "If only we were alive again, Mr. Brickshallow..." |
[24 Jul 2005|11:27pm] |
Yessss... Yes, indeed.
I was actually sobbing after I read Naruto 4. D': I'm such a nerd.
Went to CHURCH, of all things, today. @____@ I really didn't mind going, but my whole family kept making a big deal out of it and making me sound like some bible-burning, bat-eating satanist.
Which I am not.
But anyways, the REAL reason I went was because if I didn't, they wouldn't have taken me shopping with them. ^^;;
So I went shopping.
I found a pair of pants that I really liked, and when I tried them on, after having this huge fight with my mom that ended with me screaming "THEY'RE GOING TO FUCKING FIT, MOM!!!" in the middle os Sears' children's section. Well, fuck me, they didn't fit. I was so mad... not because I lost the arguement, but because I've been working so hard trying to lose weight. I had really thought I'd reached my goal but no, here comes my fat freakin' ass and my "gut that ate Tokyo" to ruin the day, like always...
But anyway I got new clothes. An FMA hoodie from Hot Topic... :3 And a Flogging Molly Shirt! And more! Wooohoohooo...woo...wo...h... uuuuugh.... I'm so tired...
|
|
| The stars are getting dimmer... |
[14 Jul 2005|01:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
D: I'm sorry, Ame. I don't understand what the hell a "drabble" is...
Weeeeelll... I'm back in Ohio for now until I go to Florida.
I got my braces off yesterday and feel absolutely gorgeous. XD It's strange... when I got them on I didn't really think they wee geeky or anything... but now that they're gone I've had the biggest self-esteem boost. ^___________^ When I got home I realized that my inscisors were practically gone due to the metal of the braces, so I made myself new ones with a nail file. o_o;;
Not the best idea I've ever had.
XD Hahahaha... virgin slurpie! XD
God I love Experimental Dental School... @w@
I keep biting my tongue and bleeding all over the place... x_____x;;
...And apparently a bunch of scary men were staring at me at Applebee's tonight.
...And apparently my boobs are a size bigger, according to Jake, my big brother, and a bunch of pretty gays guys. <3
...And apparently my hair is "Fucking hawt~!" (Thanks Brandon. X3)
...And apparently I look nice with glasses.
...And apparently I've run out of things to say.
|
|
| Enough pretending about you and me... |
[12 Jul 2005|12:33am] |
Dammit Ame, you silly little ho-bitch.
I got tagged by her... a lot. D':
Here I goes.
List TEN fictional characters you would like to have sex with, then tag five of your friends.
No order. This is also assuming that IF they were straight, I would.
1) Vash- "Trigun"
2) Wolfwood- "Trigun"
3) Legato- "Trigun"
4) Naruto- "Naruto"
5) Sasuke- "Naruto"
6) Kakashi- "Naruto"
7) Klaus Beaudelaire- "A Series of Unfortunate Events"
8) The blonde-haired guy with the curly eyebrow- One Piece
9) Sora AND Rikku- Kingdom Hearts
10) ...Nanashi... ~^o^~ *squeals*
I don't have anyone to tag... >___>
Make a list of things you enjoy, even when no one wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it in your journal and then tag some friends and ask them to post theirs.
1. Burying myself in digital cable.
2. Music.
3. Drawing.
4. Writing.
5. Watching foreign films without the subtitles and making up the words out loud when people aren't home.
6. Reading.
7. Sleep.
8. Singing in the rain.
9. Hiding in high places.
10. Jumping out/falling off of high places.
I tag you, Jake. :D I would tag Ryu, but I don't think he reads this anymore.
List 20 of your Friends names at random, Then answer questions about them! And tag some friends!
1. Ame
2. Jake
3. Megan
4. Alex
5. Peter
6. Nick
7. Jerrod
8. Nolan
9. Jeff
10. Ethan
11. Memo
12. Diane
13. Rachel
14. Michael
15. Aya
16. Ryu
17. Simeon
18. Avek
19. Valerie
20. Kayla
-Is #9 a boy or a girl? - Boy.
-Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? - o_o... I should hope the hell not...
-How about #18 and #4? - XD They'd be adorable!!
-What grade is #17 in? - Going in 9th.
-When was the last time you talked to #12? - About four hours ago.
-What is #6's favorite band? - Green Day, The Killers, or Queen. he's never specified.
-Does #1 have any siblings? - An older brother, Aaron. (I think I spelled it right... wait... was it... three "a"s...? ...DAMN YOU!!!!)
-Would you ever date #3? - She's not my type for that kind of relationship. D:
-Would you ever date #13? - She's a homophobe.
-Is #16 single? - As far as I know...
-What's #15's last name? - ...Her character's is Shinimori... but her real one is... um.. Tuttle? DX I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOW!!!! *shoots self in the head*
-What's #10's middle name? - Actually I think it's Ethan.
-What's #5's favorite thing to do? - Play cello and Halo and show off. XP
-Is #13 hot? - When she wears makeup she can be very pretty.
-Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? - HAHA!!! AHAAHAAHAA! HAAHAAAAAA~!!!! Oh wait... you're serious?
-What school does #20 go to? - F***field Freshman
-Tell me a random fact about #11: Her hair is blue right now.
-And #1: Ignores me a lot.
-And #3: Is squeamish, and yet she wants to go to medical school.
-Have you ever had a crush on #15? - No.
-Where does #9 live? - Right behind east elementary.
-What's #4's favorite color? - G...green...? D:
-Would you make out with #14? - If I didn't have a boyfriend.... and if he actually liked me... maaaaayyyybeeeeeee... ~>_>~
-Are #5 best friends? - They hate eachother, sadly.
-Does #7 like #20? - They don't know eachother.
-Does #8 like #19? - They don't know eachother, either.
-How did you meet #2? - Apparently, as he's told me, "I was a hot goth chick with big boobs." so he came up and started humming Slipknot lyrics next to me during Encore practice and I had no idea what the hell he was doing. :D It just kind of grew from there.
-How did you meet #18? - He's good friends with a bunch of my friends.
-Does #10 have any pets? - I don't know... D':
-Is #12 older than you? - Nope.
-Is #1 the sexiest person alive or what? - Okay. :D
A.. FUN... survey!!!!
1. What is your full name? Talia Joy Hale. ( Say anything about my middle name and I swear I'll hunt you down and slit your throat.)
2. What color pants are you wearing? MASSIVE black and red goth pants.
3. What are you listening to right now? "Cosy in the Rocket"- Psapp
4. What was the last thing you ate? Cheez-its.
5. Do you wish on stars? No, because stars explode.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would be? Grey, even though nobody uses it.
7. How is the weather right now? Warm... more muggy than in s.c.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Dad.
9. Do you like the person that sent this to you? Yes'ms.
10. How old are you today? Fourteen.
11. Favorite drink? JELLY DRIIIIIINK~!
12. Favorite sport? Swimming, soccer and of course, the staple of health, DDR.
13. Hair color? Naturally light brown/blonde... right now it's Hot Pink/Dark Pink, though.
14. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes the ones with funky patterns.
15. Siblings? Two brothers. I'm in the middle. I'm a girl. x_x
16. Favorite month? October.
17. Favorite food? Wontons... <3
18. What was the last movie you saw? Das Experiment.
19. Favorite day of the year? Halloween, beeyotch! Free candy, AND you get to dress up!
20. What do you do to vent anger? Nothing. I don't see the point in telling other people.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? My little pink dragon stuffed animal.
22. Summer or winter? Fall. Bitch.
23. Hugs or kisses? ...Both...
24. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
25. Do you want your friends to
e-mail you back/ post their results in their LJ? Hellz yeah!
26. Who is most likely to respond? *shrugs*
27. Who is least likely to respond? *Shrugs*
28. When was the last time you cried? None of your business.
29. What is under your bed? Things you shouldn't know about.
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Your MOM! No wait... I mean Megan.
31. What did you do last night? Stayed up until 6:55 watching movies on cable, then couldn't sleep.
32. What are you afraid of? People.
33. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? Buttered and salted... oh Christ, don't make me hungrier than I already am...
34.. Favorite car? Mazda3
35. Favorite flower? Forgetmenots.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? One... and tons of keychains.
37. How many years at your current job? I don't have a real job. I draw pics for money on Gaia, though.
38. Favorite day of the week? Friday.
39. What did you do on your last birthday? Had pain in the ass bisexuals crash my birthday party.
40. How many states have you lived in? Um... about... 3? I think? Maybe 5?
41. How many cities have you lived in? Lots. @_@
OK, your turn. See how many you get back on your friends LJs or email. ENJOY
|
|
| Nothing to fear but fear ourselves. |
[12 Jul 2005|12:00am] |
Whyyyyyyy, damn you?!?! Everytime I manage to stabilize my consious thought, something intellectually stimulating always has to come and fuck it up. -_-
Until I was 11, I had no concious thought. That sounds absolutely idiotic, but let me explain. I went through daily life like a robot, doing exactly what seemed right. I don't think I ever really thought about what I was saying to people, which could be the reason I had no real friends (except Megan) until around 5th grade.
Pour example:
Girl X: "Do you think this sweater makes me look fat?"
Talia: "Yes..."
Girl X: "...*spreads angry rumors before slamming Talia's head into an iron pole*"
I just kind of spaced out for no reason. It felt like I was a person trapped inside some kind of machine. Even though I was trying to desperately to use the controls right,
the machine just couldn't portray things the same way as the person inside.
No one will understand this post. I don't think I even understand what I'm saying right now. The black outs kind of make me incoherent. I'm still trying to figure out what made me wake up in the first place, so maybe I can do it again and wake up. But I can't remember...
Reasons for my current brain-black-outs:
1) I moved from Ohio to South Carolina. It's not really anything emotionally scarring... in fact the whole situation has given me many ways to escape from my personal enemies and ghosts. For some reason I just can't gather my thoughts long enough to focus on anything.
2) [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] cases)>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Whyyyyyyy, damn you?!?! Everytime I manage to stabilize my consious thought, something intellectually stimulating always has to come and fuck it up. -_- Until I was 11, I had no concious thought. That sounds absolutely idiotic, but let me explain. I went through daily life like a robot, doing exactly what seemed right. I don't think I ever really thought about what I was saying to people, which could be the reason I had no real friends (except Megan) until around 5th grade. Pour example: Girl X: "Do you think this sweater makes me look fat?" Talia: "Yes..." Girl X: "...*spreads angry rumors before slamming Talia's head into an iron pole*" I just kind of spaced out for no reason. It felt like I was a person trapped inside some kind of machine. Even though I was trying to desperately to use the controls right, the machine just couldn't portray things the same way as the person inside. No one will understand this post. I don't think I even understand what I'm saying right now. The black outs kind of make me incoherent. I'm still trying to figure out what made me wake up in the first place, so maybe I can do it again and wake up. But I can't remember... Reasons for my current brain-black-outs: 1) I moved from Ohio to South Carolina. It's not really anything emotionally scarring... in fact the whole situation has given me many ways to escape from my personal enemies and ghosts. For some reason I just can't gather my thoughts long enough to focus on anything. 2) <a href="http://www.fifthnail.blogspot.com>Joseph E. Duncan's personal weblog.</a> This is the blog of the man who kidnapped Shasta and Dylan Groene before murdering their older brother, mother, and mother's boyfriend. I was just researching this whole incident in case mass-murder was my wake-up call three years ago, when I stumbled across Duncan's pages. If you actually take the time to read his earlier posts (before "The Demons" took over him),you'll see that he is a frighteningly clear-pointed man with (in most cases) a very real sense of the world. He talks about how capitol punishment is a poor way of dealing with criminals, and in no way stops crime. I disagree. Duncan tries to say that all crime can be stopped with violence or force. At the same time he reasons that therapy only degrades "criminals" even more, that it makes them seem less than people and in that sense the therapy only encourages them. If this is true then how the fuck to you propose we silence crime, Mr. Multiple-Child-Molestation-And-Most-Recently-Murder man? <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8500603/">MSNBC</a> sys that the police department in Idaho that is investigating Duncan's current trial (Homicide on three counts) will be using his weblog as evidence into his psychological state. This got me thinking. If I was ever to get into trouble with the law and they checked this journal, I'd be locked away for good. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you really understand what Joseph (Or "Jet") was saying in his blog, it's hard to say if all his crimes were completely unjustified. I don't condone molestation in the least (trust me when I say those words...). I'm just... Oh goddammit! Just read his journal and maybe you'll get it! 3) Das Experiment. This German film <b>fucked with my mind.</b> The story: The main character, Tarek, is a poor cab driver who volunteers in an experiment for money. Twenty men are to be held inside a false prison built into a science lab. Twelve are gaurds and two are prisoners, all of which are monitored by cameras. There are no rules for the gaurds to follow in their treatment of the prisoners, except that they use no violence. After only five days, the experiment takes a turn for the worst... The reason this movie freaked me out was because it was so REAL. This could easily happen in real life. It showed how vicious humans can get when they recieve power. It stars Moritz Bleibtreu as Tarek, which reminds me why I loved 'Run Lola Run' so much. ^___^ Not only that, but 'Das Experiment' has naked men running around for at least fifteen minutes- completely uncut! ^o^ OH YEAH! And the anime movie, 'Dead Leaves', is the coolest freaking movie. Ever. Hands down. End of story. <center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v153/Youjokage/retropandy.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"></center> |
|
| This could be goodbye. |
[12 Jun 2005|01:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
GOSH DANG!!
I haven't updated this in forever.
Oh well. :D
Friday I got to spend ALL DAY (and night. ;) ) with Jake.
I think that was the best time I've ever had. In my entire life. And it's not like I'm some kind of shut-in! I've been in almost every state, I have family literally everywhere, and go on month-long vacations (most of which I hate, but hey...). I truly and honestly mean it when I say that every second I spend with him is one of the best I've ever experienced. His mom and him picked me up from my dad's house and we went to Target and stayed for an HOUR AND A HALF just making fun of people and poking all the padded bras in the lingere ( sp? ) section.
We went to his house and hung out for a long time. He played his guitar for me... ( So... JEALOUS...) and we watched Knox cartoons and other movies.
I was kind of glad we only spent half an hour at Sarah's party, because I got to spend even more time with Jake.
We just lay there on his couch for hours... talking and laughing at stupid things. I don't know what it is about him that makes me feel so... safe, I guess is the word I would use. I've never felt like that about anybody before, but he makes me feel like nothing bad can happen, that we'll never have to worry or be sad. I know that sounds stupid, but it's true.
Jake is INSANELY ticklish in his left armpit. I have decided to take a mental note about that. (A POST-IT NOTE IN MY BRAAAAIIIIN~! XD )
So I went home and got in a fight with my mom. I was really pissed off until I realized that this was nothing new, so I immediately dropped it. By then it was about 12:30, and I went in my room and just watched T.V..
I drew for a while, read, played Steve's keyboard, and wrote some shit before I realized it was four a.m. O_o;;
I tried to sleep for about an hour- couldn't.
I kept thinking about Jake. ( Not in a gross way, you sickos. )
At first I was kind of freaked out because it felt like I was on the couch with him again. I could still feel him there, even if I was alone. Scary, huh?
...
Well it scared me.
OH EM GEE!! Did you know Jake and I have the same bed-covers? EXACT same. O_o;; Well... you wouldn't know that, but still! :D
Oh yeah, where was I...?
Well at about 5:30 I started to realize that I'm moving in a few weeks. I don't know why, but the whole reality of it just kind of decided to fucking smack me in the face RIGHT in the middle of a fit of insomnia.
I just wanted to scream.
Sure, Ohio's got it's weak spots. Not the state, specifically, but you know what I mean. There're people I wouldn't mind not seeing again. Ever. And then there're the people that I'm not sure if I can live without.
I won't know ANYBODY in S.C.. I keep having these big, terrible nightmares, where I'm suddenly one of the people I dislike the most: Those shut-ins that never talk to anybody, have no friends, and probably cut themselves or something because of it. D: It's awful!
But... most of all I'm gonna miss my creampuff. ;____;
My friends are the best in the world and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I'm not IN LOVE with them. I am, however, in love with Jake. And I know that when I move...
My heart will break for him. ;_;
|
|
| Do whatever you wanna do... |
[29 May 2005|11:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
I still love you, Jake. <333
On Friday we had this little French party thing and Peter was late. He looked REALLY depressed so I flat out asked him, "Are you okay?" He looked at me for a good long time and then said, "I got dumped."
I didn't know what to say... should I be happy or sad? I didn't hold anything against Peter for going out with Mandy... my only problem was that the day they started being together he turned into this total monster. He hated me and everyone else around him... but mainly me. ;__;
He kept brooding the whole day, and eventually I got to talk to him about it when we were alone together. He was really upset... and I could tell he was about to cry. That really made me sad. And for the first time since he and Mandy started going out he spoke to me. I mean really spoke to me as if I was another person and not just this little nuisance in his life.
I don't still have any love for him though. I mean, I'll always love Pete, but being in love with him? That's over.
Anyways, my point is that it felt good for him to look at me and actually see again.
|
|
| Take me home to your town... |
[25 May 2005|11:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
Well, today was a good day until I woke up.
School went fine, but Peter was hating me as usual. Nick got mad again because I don't like stick figures. I "started" for the month. >_>
I think I have some kind of SERIOUS medical condition. A hormone imbalance or something. Because EVERY MONTH when it gets to be that time I fall deathly ill. It's awful. I get really depressed and everything, too. So I finally went home from school during lunch and almost threw up in the car. It was terrible.
I sat there on the bathroom floor for at least an hour, trying not to throw up. I was just sitting there on my knees in front of the toilet and the next thing I knew I was lying on the tile floor. I don't know what happened to me. I experienced this total loss of energy and will.
Finally I managed to stand up and walk to the couch, where I promptly collapsed. I slept from about one in the afternoon to 5:30, when Jake called me.
J: Can you come to this choraliers concert tonight?
Me: ...No, I've got a bunch of stuff to do.
J: Oh, okay. Bye.
Me: Bye. *goes to sleep again*
So yeah. Then I got on AIM because I didn't have the energy for anything else, and he has this away message up asking me why I can't ever do anything with him and that I need to just drop my plans so we can actually do stuff. Needless to say I was so angry I couldn't see straight. "Well sorry, I'm trying not to barf my brains out!" I wanted to yell and then I punched the wall. His mom got on his SN later and we talked for a while. She said she was going to tell him he should be nicer to me, but later I regretted the whole thing. Being mad and everything. I'm just stressed... a lot.
Then dad called me and got all pissed off because I can't hear when HE mumbles into the reciever.
I broke down in math class on monday, and almost did it again at Ame's house later that day. I just want to know where my life is going, or at least have some kind of direction. I'm just lost in this whole cloud of shit and I have no idea what's going on.
Even though I was mad at Jake... I don't want to lose him. ;_; Even if we never ever have stuff to talk about and we aruge sometimes I don't want it to stop...
TT_TT
|
|
| Don't flip out. D: |
[11 May 2005|08:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
People were asking me about my last post. Don't freak out, I'm not going to kill myself or start writing poetry.
I was just depressed about... things. School. Certain people.
But anyways! Things are kind of okay now. I got to talk to Jaaaaaaaaaaaake and I'll probably see him on Saaaaturdaaaaaaaaay...! *girlish squeal* <3 <3 <3
*loves*...
My BooBooShmooShmoo has been sick lately, and that makes me cry. ;_;
~*~*~*~*~RANDOM PLUG~*~*~*~*~
www.knoxskorner.com
Hilarious flash claymation cartoons teamed up with an insanely insane sense of humor= teh funneh. <3
|
|
|
[06 May 2005|04:01pm] |
|
I feel... empty.
|
|
| Let's have some yum yuuuuums~! |
[17 Apr 2005|10:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lethargic |
] |
Wa-hoh. This weekend was fantabulous. :O
Friday: Memo gave me markers and they smell delicious~! :3
After school mom came home early and we packed up for D.I.. We had to go to Youngstown for regionals. Then we went and picked up Ame and her mom. The drive was fine, we stopped for an hour of shopping (Mmm... candles. *eats*)
It wasn't until we almost got there that I realized all my cds, my cd player, my gameboy, and my cellphone were still at home. D:
We competed against 11 teams for our level in D.I. and tied with two others for EIGTH PLACE. >:o
I'm not really mad, because going to state would have meant more agonizing work on our ugly project and having to deal with those annoying little competition-cheerleader-girls. (Not my team mates, girls from other teams)
Anywayyyys... I finally get to talk to Jake! <3 *girlish squeal*
|
|
| Your mother. :I |
[10 Apr 2005|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
Woo! It's been a long... um... month or so. X.x
I went to Jake's school dance yesterday. It was fuuuuuuuuuun. Even though we didn't really dance. >.o We hung out and laughed and whatnot.
He stole me this little inflatable fish off the wall. We deflated and he shoved it down his pants, smuggling it out for me. :3 The fish is named Carl. He is pink.
Hehe... I've been a cleptomaniac lately. Ame and I ate at a chinese restaurant with her mom on Friday, and I took two pairs of chopsticks (even though I could have asked x.x).
Then... I just happened to read the sign as I passed the "Fried Dumpling" tray.
...The little notecard didn't say "Fried Dumpling"...
...:x...
...It said "Friend Dumping". :3... So I yoinked it! <3
|
|
| I can't take much more of this... |
[21 Mar 2005|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
It's just too hard! ;o; Everything that can possibly go wrong is going wrong and nothing I do can make the problems go away!
1: My grades are dropping with no sign of stopping. EVER.
2: A while ago I found out that my family will almost definitely move to South Carolina.
3: A while later, I found out that my mother and step-father might be getting a divorce.
4: Jake is slowly being torn apart by memories of his father and nothing I say can console him. ;_;
5: My dad is getting more oppressive by the day. Everytime I see him we get in an arguement and I end up in tears.
6: My OWN memories are starting to flood back up to the surface. Things I really don't want to remember but really can't forget.
7: Nick's (my half-brother's) dad is dying in North Carolina, so we probably have to leave sooner than expected and may even go to a funeral. It's so terrible...
My mother and my brother are two of the people I look up to most in the world. They're always strong, no matter what the situation and they never seem to get flustered or cry. But now... they're both hurting so bad inside and to me it's like seeing titans fall.
It makes me wonder what a weak thing like me will do in those situations.
Everything's going wrong...
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
curtainclosing's journal